"Jefrey (With one 'f', 'Jefrey'!)! Jefrey

"Jefrey (With one 'f', 'Jefrey'!)! Jefrey (With one 'f', one 'f'!)!" sang the Mars Red Rovers cheer squad. Their quarterblark, Jefrey Zorg, scored a touchdown. The DE and RT lifted

their shirts to reveal their nipple piercings and Jefrey tattoos. Everyone thought Jefery was a hero. Everyone, that is, except for Susan B. Komen. She had kept abreast of his s

-tretch marks, which was really a feat. Due to 15 bouts with childhood obesity his stretchmarks were as big as a cadillac. In fact, one had been authenticated by the Vatican

as the best portrait of the Virgin Mary.La Pietá had nothing on his stretchmarks!His belly skin was auctioned on

the antiques roadshow, in England, for £5000. With the recent banning of using animal skin, human skin is the next best thing for making leather. Good old fashioned skin is rare.

Ever since the police shut down Jack the Ripper's leather making factory the human skin market had become

"Well, who do I complain to?" I complained to my RealDoll. "The BBB? Ha! Those idiots take months to respond. No. This time, no words. Action!" I pounded my palm with my fist,

I pounded until it was sore. I dressed my defective RealDoll in a purple terry romper and posed her to ride piggyback. Off we went. We thumbed for a ride to San Marcos

but the one truck that stopped only had enough room in its cab for her. I tried to wave goodbye sadly but I was relieved. I'm not a commitment kind of guy.