Jim got the licensing agreement for swiveling

Jim got the licensing agreement for swiveling office chairs. Now that he had monopolized the industry, he was determined to make the lives of every office worker miserable.

Jim did this by getting religious and getting drunk. He'd stumble from cubicle to cubicle slurring the passages from Corinthians. He caterwalled across the lobby and smashed

he pressed the up button and recited his favorite psalms in the style of James T. Kirk. An elderly lady was taken aback when the elevator door opened and she shrieked, "Where are

you headed, young Kirk? Up or down?!" He consulted the psalms again & replied, "When I go down, I will still remain up." The old lady pondered this enigmatic answer & got in the el

ectric eel pool - it had been a childhood dream of hers to do so, and she frolicked among the eels like a giddy teenager. Kirk flipped to Psalm 137; ".By the rivers of Babylon,

" Kirk's date cut him off and starting singing: "There we sat down. Yeah we wept, when we remembered Ziiiii-on." Kirk said, "Wow, Martia, I didn't know you were a reggae fan."

"Actually," Martia said, "I need to talk to you about this. I worship Bob Marley as a God and I've already named our unborn child after him." "Unborn child?" stuttered Kirk. "Take

note and realize that as soon as that child burrows out of you, i will shove it right back into that gaping hole you call a love-trench. " Kirk just couldn't stand stoner hippies.

"Beam me up, Scotty," he muttered, disgusted with the whole situation. "And remind me never to return here again."