The following line is not intented as a factual

The following line is not intented as a factual statement.

Most children naturally generate gold within their bodies, so as an alternative to environmentally harmful strip mining and mountaintop removal, one only needs to

distill the children, remove their impurities and sell the residual gold. The main purchaser of this "child gold" is Goldshlagger. 2.5 children make up the flakes at the bottom

of the bottle. His genius plan was to gather enough child gold from Goldshlagger consumption to trade for a live child on Craigslist. He'd harvested over 13.5 oz from 114 bottles

in a month. DTs made it hard to type the Craigslist url. While trying to find the perfect child to adopt, he got distracted by ads like: 1500 ladybugs accidentally bought while dru

from the womb!" cried one desperate ad. "How offputting.." she thought. However one adoption ad caught her eye, "Direct descendant of Tutankhamun available." It couldn't possibly

be Steve Martin in a 70s flashback, could it?, she mused. And then she rejected the whole lot, surmising that adoption just lead to dependence and that kid will just end up on welf

-TV,Channel 6 Action News. He wanted to be a meteorologist if someone would just adopt him and send him to college. She re-mused then changed her mind.YES, he WOULD become her son!

As CEO of Nortel she was the first to vote in favour of Self-organising Network (SON) at the World Mobile Congress in 2009. Nortel early adoption was followed by Motorola.