NaNoWriMo was a bust for me.

NaNoWriMo was a bust for me.

I was surprised that most of the workshops required you to read and I just never could do that without throwing uo.

"throwing uo" is an expression used by the workshop gurus which meant that you were "showing laudable puss". A lot of help that explanation was! I compensated my illiteracy by

being awarded with a Record deal. It didn't matter that I couldn't read, I had the look. It was a look that was a game changer. The look I have was so powerfully

intense, that anyone will obey me. Quite literally. I, (assuming you could see my face) could make you kill your mother, and laugh mockingly. I won't though, because I

myself am an orphan and thus sympathize, unless your mother is a spectacularly garish monster with a shrill laugh, green teeth, a consumptive's cough, and a sizable bank balance.

But I digress. You wouldn't have a mother if you were an orphan after all. And I'm not Lemony Snicket. Although I have been called A lemony snicket. I am a round circular candy

, more like an Everlasting Gobstopper, truth be told. I've been responsible for more dentalwork than all candies combined, except for perhaps JuJubes. We were all orphans, living a

bigger, Bond-er box. Unfortunately, 007 is not the best caretaker for anything other than his occasional Beard of Sorrow, so we perished in under a week. C'est la vie.