It's the most odious time of the year. With

It's the most odious time of the year. With the fruitcake all smelling and mom's boyfriend yelling, "Yo! Bring me a beer!" It's the most odious time of the year. It's the

crap-crappiest season of all. With those lip-syncs remastered and mall Santas plastered by only mid-fall. It's the crap-crappiest season of all. It's the

time for the buying while Afghan children are dying, It's the crap-crappiest seasooooon...of the yeeear." And that was the last thing I remembered saying before I blacked out.

up, a story about a middle aged woman who just wants her husband to validate her feelings. Tom Brokaw is on the scene, Tom?

Did you take your Viagra already?No?Do you want some help getting it up,Tom?No?(...)It's OK with Mr.Brokaw.He's ready to shoot.Silence on the set.Milfs,ready.

But when are MILFs ever ready? The goldfish that live in their shoes can't eat normal food like a cheese sandwich. Oh no, special fish flakes have to be sourced. And don't get me s

tarted on the anacondas draped around the MILFs' shoulders. They required massive quantities of human flesh. Unfortunately the MILFs weren't' t ready for that either, resulting in

mass starvation which wiped out the anaconda line, sparking global ecosystem collapse. The MILFs felt very guilty over their role in the mass extinction event and sought penance

. But the universe exploded. BOOM. And God had to start the whole damn project over again.