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It's the most odious time of the year. With

  • It's the most odious time of the year. With the fruitcake all smelling and mom's boyfriend yelling, "Yo! Bring me a beer!" It's the most odious time of the year. It's the

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  • crap-crappiest season of all. With those lip-syncs remastered and mall Santas plastered by only mid-fall. It's the crap-crappiest season of all. It's the

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  • time for the buying while Afghan children are dying, It's the crap-crappiest seasooooon...of the yeeear." And that was the last thing I remembered saying before I blacked out.

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  • December in Afghanistan again! Join the national Guard after all Bush crapped out of going to Viet Nam by joining them; they always stay in the states. Yeah smart ass, and next

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  • up, a story about a middle aged woman who just wants her husband to validate her feelings. Tom Brokaw is on the scene, Tom?

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  • Did you take your Viagra already?No?Do you want some help getting it up,Tom?No?(...)It's OK with Mr.Brokaw.He's ready to shoot.Silence on the set.Milfs,ready.

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  • But when are MILFs ever ready? The goldfish that live in their shoes can't eat normal food like a cheese sandwich. Oh no, special fish flakes have to be sourced. And don't get me s

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  • tarted on the anacondas draped around the MILFs' shoulders. They required massive quantities of human flesh. Unfortunately the MILFs weren't' t ready for that either, resulting in

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  • mass starvation which wiped out the anaconda line, sparking global ecosystem collapse. The MILFs felt very guilty over their role in the mass extinction event and sought penance

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  • . But the universe exploded. BOOM. And God had to start the whole damn project over again.

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