On a moonlit night, stranded on a canoe in

On a moonlit night, stranded on a canoe in the middle of Convict Lake, Wilson had his first full night of sleep since the death of Mr Rodriguez. He had nowhere to go and no need of

the fear of drowning, for he was just a volleyball. Mr. Rodriguez found Wilson when he plucked that scraggly FedEx guy from the water. His wife found the bloody "souvenir" re

-stein who was the local butcher. Well actually Tom worked at the grocery mart. The meat was cut up at the factory. The boss made him wear a fake bloody apron to get customers

to stay away from the free samples Tom hovered over, which were only offered for show. Tom emerged from the room of fake deli slicers with "fresh" Lunchables. "That pig did squeal,

Oooo Weee!" Tom grined ear to ear. What a freak, I thought. "Tom, don't stand too close to me, OK?" I said. "I dont want anyone to think we're together." Tom clutched his Lunchable

and pretended not to hear as he smiled and scanned the area for classmates to wave at. This idiot was determined to be seen with me! I turned my gaze down and opened an umbrella.

As luck would have it, a rabid weasel had nested inside of the closed canopy. I quickly nabbed the agitated rodent by the neck and tossed it into the face of my irritating suitor.

But my nemesis was too quick for me. He simultaneously pulled a monkey from his pants. All around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel. The monkey thought it twas all in

fun, until my tiger made him run. Around the bush they made a gutter, which soon was filled with monkey butter. My nemesis was frozen with shock, even before I fixed his clock.