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Well, of course not, thought tiny Hester.

  • Well, of course not, thought tiny Hester. Who would like green eggs and ham? And who is this Sam? He seems like a drug

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  • shot through with adrenaline. As Sam jumped, something fell out of his pocket (pocket?). A card. A business card. "Sam I. Am, representative of the Hormel Ham Company Inc."

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  • He briefly wondered about his initials. S. I. Am. A quick check in the store window confirmed it. He was indeed from Thailand.Yet how many Sams from Thailand dealt ham, or eggs?

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  • He stopped a bag lady and asked her where Thailand was. The words that came out were Cambodian. Holy smokes, he thought. But his focus was changed when the woman responded in

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  • French Pig Latin. "eJay uissay neuay ommepay eday erretay." He didn't know what it meant, but clearly the bag lady knew something he didn't and he was bound to

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  • find some useful information online.After browsing several pages dedicated to French Pig Latin conspiracy theories, alien abductions, Nibiru & the new world order, he stumbled upon

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  • StumbleUpon! Hopelessly addicted to the internet now, he could no longer be the one to discover just what the Space Baguettes were up to, so that mantle was taken up by

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  • the midgets. The midgets could be talked into anything. For a price. For the price of a big grab of Cheetos they reworked the entire barbed wire fence of farmer John

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  • Dykeson's Militia Training Academy. John had the midget crew stuffing black powder into knee-high panty hose when the Feds showed up. You've never seen such chaos. Two midgets

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  • used the pantyhose to shoot themselves from a cannon, flying over the surprised Federal agents. Fox News showed the film with the crawl "Tiny Terrorist Training." Beck cried.

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