If I ran my high school I'd...

If I ran my high school I'd...

make them serve pizza during classes which would all be outside during good weather. P.E. would be all afternoon. Instead of principal, I'd be called King Kong & wear a robe made o

-f memory foam. It has always been my dream to have a memory foam robe. Not clothes, no just a massive sheet of memory foam wrapped around my naked body

and I would be in Heaven. I could fall asleep standing up. I frequently do that now but with the memory foam suit there would less incidences of me hitting my head on the ground

With the convient bungee cords on the wrists, I can sleep upright on the subway. The suit is dayglo orange with a stenciled warning that the owner will sue if touched. Ear-buds

keep me placid with MLP's greatest hits so I don't get woken by the subway winos. My dayglo orange suit on, my bungee cords keeping me upright, I dozed off on my commute to work.

I noticed the man in a blue suit appear infront of me out of the aether, briefcase in hand. I'd seen him before. After the battle with the Nihalanth. The Fed, the G-Man, my benefac

tor from another place. "Gordon Freeman - in the flesh. Or rather, in the hazard suit. Mr. Freeman...tell me, are you a fan of...Jägermeister?" I needed a drink after all the shit

I'd witnessed. "Nein, danke." It was better that I didn't. I needed a clear head to work out my next strategy. Flesh Gordon had to be eliminated. But that's another story.