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"Is this legal?" "Oh yes. You've been traded

  • "Is this legal?" "Oh yes. You've been traded to [chain restaurant x] across the street for a burger flipping prospect and a bag of buns. Now turn in your uniform." My dirty nametag

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  • was ripped from my chest. "GO!" my now former boss commanded, pointing me to Big Bob's Brown Boogie Burger Emporium. "They're waiting for you." I called my agent.

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  • My agent didn't have anything important to say. So I fired my agent, pointing him to Big Bob's Brown Boogie Burger Emporium. That's where all the rejects went, I supposed.

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  • I should know because I just came from there. I am a reject's reject. Even the losers don't want me around. Which makes me the most popular person with the popular people.

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  • Or so I thought until I got the shock news that Jade hadn't invited me to her 17th birthday sleepover. I retaliated by organising a sleepover for myself in my own bedroom. Ha! Take

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  • that you silly sod! I'm not buying you drinks anymore either! See, I got held back. A lot. I was a 21-year-old junior in high school, but I was very popular at parties

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  • since I could buy booze and roll quarters off my rack like nobody's business. And drinking and rolling -- that's how you make it up the corporate ladder these days." The interview

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  • didn't go well, but only because they hired someone that was so drunk they had passed out, which I think is cheating. A good accountant is perpetually wasted, yet still wide awake.

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  • Accountants should stay conscious, if not sober, for at least the job interview's duration. Apparently he blacked out in the hiring manager's office and still got the job. Bad ju

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  • -udgment? -ju? -mper cables? Perhaps a combination of the three? To this day, he's baffled by their decision, but it doesn't change the house, dog, 2.3 kids, and emptiness inside.

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