Just got out of the hospital. Only hurts
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Just got out of the hospital. Only hurts when I laugh. Feeling fine. I am alive and well. You'll never believe what happened to me in there, though. When I was in the OR,
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I came out of anesthesia long enough to catch the conversation of the surgeon with his assistant. Apparently he'd magnetized his golf clubs in the MRI scanner so that
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he could get a better swing. I tried to signal that I was aware of the scalpel touching my skin, but I couldn't move. Then I noticed another presence, beside the doctor.
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The presence was sexless, but had kind glowing eyes which made me feel better about lying here on this gurney. The presence pointed at me & then at itself & then upward. I suddenly
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demanded a refund for my undelivered Amazon packages. The glowing eyes of the sexless presence grew perplexed, then enraged. "Why did you wait until the last second to order?!?"
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it yelled. "Do I have to do everything round here? And turkeys don't cook themselves so why are you still in bed at midday?" The sexless presence was well into its stride now. "Get
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down, get dowwwwwn!, get down get doooown!, Jungle boogie!" the sexless presence was crooning the Kool and the Gang classic. It startled us.
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The purple penguins were addressed by name only. No chance that they would accept any other way, three years later. It was the law, goddamnit! The social justice warriors were
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severely incapacitated by inbreed and heavy use of brick infused pillow fights. Any brains the social justice warriors had ever summoned, was being either banged or banged away.
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Sometimes I know just how they feel.
6
- Started
- 2013-12-19 16:48:06
- Finished
- 2016-08-15 11:13:57
10 Comments
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PurpleProf Aug 15 2016 @ 16:42
I actually was in the hospital when I started this story. I remember worrying about what dumb things I would say and do right before and after anesthesia. I may very well have sung Kool & the Gang and saw purple penguins.
Woab Aug 15 2016 @ 17:13
Glad you pulled through, Prof!
StoryFascist Aug 15 2016 @ 17:21
That sounds terrific! I need to get my hands on some of that stuff.
lucielucie Aug 15 2016 @ 20:05
That shows real dedication to folding, PP. Above and beyond.
PurpleProf Aug 15 2016 @ 21:24
FoldingStory kept me laughing through my breast cancer ordeal. It (and all of you) were a big part of my healing. :)
SlimWhitman Aug 16 2016 @ 03:30
The best story on foldingstory.
SlimWhitman Aug 16 2016 @ 03:32
I meant your story, which this is too.
StoryFascist Aug 16 2016 @ 03:49
Hear hear
lucielucie Aug 16 2016 @ 07:38
...and it ain't over yet, along with the 4,450 other unfinished stories on this site :)
Woab Aug 16 2016 @ 10:35
We're workin' on 'em!