My "wife" was outside hanging the "laundry"

My "wife" was outside hanging the "laundry" so I decided to take a quick trip to the "store". Upon arriving, I noticed I'd forgotten my "wallet" so I had to call a "friend" to see

if I could "borrow" a few bucks to cover my "purchase." My "friend" agreed, but only if I'd let him "borrow" my "wife" for the weekend. She was done with the "laundry", so I

"folded" the unmentionables. My "friend" averted his "gaze" during the "little" bit of "housekeeping" that I and his "wife" did. My "girlfriend" was "disturbed" by our little "chor

e session" and went all "fatal attraction" on me.I "apologized" and said I would not "see" the "wife" of my "friend" again.My "girlfriend" didn't "agree" & got a "kitchen utensil"

My girl"friend" "whisked" my "batter". She "julienned" my "mango". She "fricasseed" my green "plantains". Then she "basted" me with a herby "marinade". I think she was annoyed.

It was less the culinary double entendres, more the fact that I would say "in quotations marks" every time I said things in quotation marks. It's funny now thinking back, I never

thought it was wrong to quote baste my roast in other peoples ovens unquote, or to quote whip cream with a used beater unquote. I was just afraid to plagiarize a famous TV chef's

quote "just take the child and cut it into tiny pieces as you put it into the oven to make you delectable omelet cake."