A good-hearted woodcutter was about to chop

A good-hearted woodcutter was about to chop down a mighty tree when the tree spoke. "In return for my life, I will grant you three wishes," she cried. The woodcutter decided not to

look a gift tree in the knothole and said "Very well. I will spare thee. I wish for three acorns that will grow into a tree the instant I throw them on the ground." No sooner said

then the Magic Squirrel of Random Wood tossed three Acorns of Witchery on the ground. They rattled and rollicked until curling golden sprouts came out and dug into the earth.

The first acorn became a lovely Oak Tree of Wisdom. The second a modest Willow of Learning. But the third Acorn of Witchery became a gnarled black Bramble of Buggery. The travelers

of course climbed the third. "Bugger this Bramble of Buggery." Was the general consensus of the travellers after a rough ten minutes. "Let's find a nice Fern of Fondling instead."

The Garden of Earthly Delights swayed the travellers with "Primrose of Passions" and "Foxglove of Foolishness." But that night, the Garderer would appear, with a weed whacker.

bored straight into the skull of Jehovah, a cosmic lobotomy gone awry. Luck would have it that Jehovah, being Jehovah shook it off causing big bangs, and rippling birth pangs to s

olar system of magnificant magnitude. Jehovah checked his skull and it was good. Then Jehovah noticed the universe he'd inadvertedly created and saw, well, it was pretty good.

Much better than that last failed attempt. This one was structured, ordered. No more chaos, no more random junk. Happily, he turned to the old one, and said "let there be dark!"