"In a bar like this, a girl like you, what

"In a bar like this, a girl like you, what is doing?" After the third whisky, Yoda always started chatting me up.

"I keep telling you, you midget, you're not my type." I said to Yoda. The little green man waggled his eyebrows at me. "Nine inches long, my dick is." I stared at him, and

then the image of my MeeMaw floated to my memory. "This is happening to you because you wouldn't go to Sunday School when you were little," she whispered in my mind. I kicked Yoda

Layhehoo, my dance instructor, in the shins. I'd had enough of this grueling practice and guilt-tripping for one day. Mr. L floundered and fell. His lumpy lederhosen went limp

as that maniacal little yodeler kept climbing the mountain of prices on the Price is Right. Mr. L screamed, "Stop, by God, stop! Microwave popcorn doesn't cost 4.55!" But it was

to late, the Price is Right Yodel man fell off the edge. But suddenly, the little figure gripped the cliff and pleaded. "Why must the price of popcorn foretell my fate! Why?"

A game show hostess made a graceful gesture towards a billboard: "One must seek the price of popcorn within." The tiny Price is Right Yodel man hanging on the cliff didn't get it.

Neither did the audience, unfortunately. And that, my friends, is how Drew Carey's career as a game show host went down the tubes. He went on to produce only three other shows,

Lifestyles of the Fat and Stupid, Over 80 and Pregnant, and Nude Nuns with Guns. Although popular in North Korea, those shows flopped in the States, and Drew Carey went back to