In the beginning there was something. There

In the beginning there was something. There was something controlled and organized. Then God made something else.

He found this activity pleasing, making a thing that was not the other thing, so he made another thing, and another... Soon God was surrounded by things with various qualities.

If you want to know more, you should read the testimonies of those who experienced some of these things first hand,

These testimonies are buried in a deep hole under my bed. I don't let anyone into my bedroom so I'll have to give you a quick precis of some of the shorter ones. "My name is Kevin

and I'm an gamaholic." "- Hi Kevin," the congregation greeted him unanimously. Kevin continued, "It's been six days since I last touched my WASD keys, and I want to die." Silence

Wait!" Everyone froze. "I think it's morse code!" continued Twitchy. They all listened intently. .... . .-.. .--. / -- . The message tapped out again: .... . .-.. .--. / -- .

I rang Professor Edamski who translated Morse Code. He listened to the taps and wrote down the following words on the vellum paper we provided for his convenience:

"Dot dash dot dot dash dot dot." "Professor Edamski, what does it mean?" "The Morsians are just being assholes," He said, "The .-..-.-..- message just says that - Dot, Dash, Dot -

All this time the cleaning lady, Dot, had been listening in. With a wild look in her eyes, she dashed out of the office just before a meteor crashed through the roof.