It was a clear, dark night and Plantman had

It was a clear, dark night and Plantman had just returned from his daily crime watch. He removed his nitrogen-fixing

zinc watch, his plaid suspenders and jellyfish socks. Cranking up the tunes, he hopped in the shower and

cursed himself for leaving his underwear on before getting in. Already soaked, he figured what the hell, might as well

spike his hair into a mohawk like that cat Ferris Bueller. Danke Schoen was on the radio when someone flushed the toilet

and boiled his scalp bald around the mohawk. Not exactly the way he wanted to look going into the final

date with lea(bad girl club season 5).She was all into sex and he couldnt provide that because he was a alien

bit her, to distract her before she could find them. "The hell?" she exclaimed in surprise. I rambled some bullshit about 'munchies', but she wasn't buying it. She was pissed or

stoned. But she was out for blood, preferably the blood of a virgin. Normally a man the age of Mike would not be worried - but Mike was as pure as they get in these parts. She

could smell the torrential hormones pouring through his pounding heart.The richness of it all formed pools of metallic saliva beneath her tongue that she gulped down, thirsting for

annihilation. This would be the most spectacular death. A sunrise torture of unheard of proportions with small needle-like devices and a crossbow. Not just any crossbow but the

one used by Genghis Khan on his death bed to kill his brother, and then eat his remains. It sounds gruesome, but for the average Mongol it was nothing compared to

the dishonor that had become their legacy - that's right, Mongolian barbeque. If the Mongols could only see how they were remembered by their decendents, they would probably

have sterilized themselves. Rubbing alcohol serves as a good sterilizer, and for Liza Minelli as a good mixer for cocktails. Once Liza used rubbing alcohol to sterilize

her entire gastrointestinal tract; it was rumored you could eat off it for months afterwards. But I digress. Sterilization is a top priority when one's 50-ton chihuahua befriends a

40 story atomic lizard. The problem was how to get his giant testicles under the falling tree. There wasn't enough tranquilizer in the state to take down this chihuahua. I'd never

been bowling before, but this couldn't be much different. Clutching the spheres in my hand, watching the mighty Spruce approach the earth, screaming, I heaved with all strength.

They sprung free, like twin stars rotating in the night sky. It was only after I heard the thwak that i realized a stalwart lumberjack loomed ahead of me. Well, except now he was

brandishing a bloody kitchen whisk. "Time to scramble the City Boy," he said, and then laughed at his own joke. "Blue, you can have the yolk. Do you get it, my oxy friend? It's

a complete and utter joke, a waste of time. Perhaps a bit like that "folding story" thing, how can one meaningfully contribute without seeing what's gone before? "Shut up" she said