Because of my shoes. I'm wearing today. One

Because of my shoes. I'm wearing today. One is called love. The other is pain.

This walk called life. Is too short and too long. One step brings joy. The next misery.

These boots. Once walked. Now they straddle the crack. Of life. One boot in heaven. One in hell.

My hands ache. With each stroke. Of each key. Every time my weary fingers brush them. They mock me, those keys. With their boxy keen edges. Watching, waiting for the right moment.

But I won't give the keys the satisfaction, Nope. I put a photo of the keyboard on my mirror, everyday I train, and get ready, I stare at those keys and crack my knuckles.

I was ready to sit at my keyboard for an entire day without touching them. It was the only way to get past my haphemania. "Spill Doritos crumbs on us, make us filthy," they begged

hungrily. "Push us, make sense of the world through us...your only true friends." The temptation was great, but I resisted touching my possessed keyboard. I ate all of the Doritos

Love Your Perfect Opposite counseling. LYPO's advice had sucked. I hated my twiggyness . I regarded a cheetoh and implored it to return to me my velvety folds and sanguine bovinity

but nothing. "Son of a bitch!" Until the full moon. "Oh." I returned to my true form of the vampiric cow! I stalk the night, stealing the milk from other cows' udders. "Um, what?"