Due to tribal social pressures, I have agreed

Due to tribal social pressures, I have agreed to publicly celebrate the pair-bond relationship with my mate. I have prepared an offering of severed plant genitalia, dyed wood pulp,

and soot. My mate is maxing the credit card on limos, meringue wedding dresses and rice. In keeping with tribe traditions I will be a naked groom, smeared in goose fat. Love

this Diversity Appreciation Day training! We're all having so much fun & just think, we're getting CE credit to boot! OK, now you be the tribal mother-in-law, OK? Put on this fea

ture film so we can get on with the training session. Today's lesson will be about watching movies. There's lots of Diversity in those! Especially the ones where

there's all this diverse stuff going one. What that meant was that the film professor just threw the course together at the last minute. He was a bum with a magnificent name.

The professor laid down the main course and pulled away a white sheet. The students gazed at the meal, wondering how this had anything to do with the media course they had taken.

"...but consume it too quickly and you'll choke and die". Everyone stared at him, questioningly. That analogy was not one of his best, especially as he had only had a mere half a

throat, the other half eaten by a marauding macaw in his youth. But he was off on another tangent, another analogy. "I've always said love is like a glass of prune juice...

it makes your constipated innards flow freely again. No, Love is like a platypus: just when you think its a furry mammal it waves its duckbill at you and lays an egg.