We were young and out of touch with the things

We were young and out of touch with the things we're gonna hate so much, in time.

Hate is such a strong word my mother always said to say dislike but I feel that by doing so I am limiting myself. The English language has so many ways of saying the same

thing about mothers. Lame. Irritating. Annoying. All mothers are a plague on their children. TIffany was going to put an end to this plague by putting together a

of items she would need to build the device: 2 paper clips, some ketchup, a cheese grater, some plutonium, a hacksaw, and a powder puff. Tiffany then called

Pink Dot and ordered all the above, absentmindedly filing her fingernails as she did. She tidied up the place and within the hour the doorbell rang - there was the delivery man

. "I didn't order you," she said, "I ordered a shorter delivery man with larger pizzas." "May I come in anyway," he whispered, "I have urgent matters to discuss and the hallway is

starting to smell like cat food. Funny, the hallway DID smell like tuna. I decided 2let the towering pizza delivery guy in. He was very raspy"Here is your mission. First, find the

folding table & bring it here. My arm's killing me," whined the tall delivery man. "How many toppings are on this pizza?! Second, find that can of tuna and toss it; it reeks. Third

, where's my tip? I demand at least 5 bucks!" I grabbed the pizza from him, slammed the door without paying & sunk into my couch, immersing myself in warm melted cheesey goodness.