Ice creaming comes across the sky

Ice creaming comes across the sky

"You know, I thought the first sign of the apocalypse would be more... dramatic. Didn't you?" I asked my friend as we and a group of others watched ice cream cones rain down upon

the local Impromptu Hats Club. It was soon at war with the neighboring Narwhal Enthusiasts Organization over possession of the falling ice cream cones. "Maybe this IS bad," I told

Eberwald our President who wore a large newspaper steamboat hat with empty toilet paper role smokestacks. "We will never cede conical hat rights to the Narwhal tuskers!" he said.

And then something so amazing happened that I can hardly describe it.

I found myself in the land of the lost unicycles for the unemployed unicorns! It was a magical place, with a chocolate river, candy plants, & strange little orange people, wait a

forgiven...NEVER! While recovering from the resulting dysentry caused by Willy Wonka's horrible April Fool's joke, I had almost a year to plot my revenge. The following March, I

travelled to India and sought advice from a guru. My guru told me to forgive Willy Wonka and find enlightenment in listening to the Beatles and worshiping cows

but while I thought after thirty years of PTSD & therapy I could forgive the chocolate-smith for his professional negligence, I just couldn't deal with the mop-haired yuppies.