The biggest fall-out from the Green's victory

The biggest fall-out from the Green's victory was the axing of Top Gear. It had increasingly become a guilty pleasure but when the end came, Jeremy, Richard and James

held each other and wept. Top Gear was a total accident that had breathed life into them for a moment. They'd been losers before that. Women ignored them, family pitied them and

their piers (none in their view) rejected them. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May and the Stig were out of work again, thank God. I was sick of them stinking up the Air

Port with grease and stale sweat whenever they travelled overseas on one of their Top Gear specials. In its place was a new show about driving very slowly, called

"Pokey Trundle." They planned to film in Florida and hoped to get a laugh. They were in the upper 4000's in the cable lineup so they didn't really have to do that much. The host,

a resurrected corpse of 60's-era Charlie Sheen, Richard Dawson, just sat back and inhaled his own flatulence and commanded the Floridians to entertain him. "It's cable, bitch," he

Maalox & pop rocks. His date turned away, disgusted, grabbed her clothes & left. He lay there in the darkness, miserable & confused. Dr. Angry Pants said there'd be days like this.

He decided that he needed to give up his relationship repelling vices and be his own man. No more Maalox, no more pop rocks, just clean living from now on.

He bought some fruits and decided to make a fruit salad.By the time he had chopped halfway through the first banana the fone rang and relapse was on the line.