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I am a prodigy. That's what they call me

  • I am a prodigy. That's what they call me now. I am no longer Samantha Alberts. I have changed, crowned with power. I am

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  • miserable. that's probably the last thing you expected me to say... but it's true. the people who act like they are smarter than me, but they aren't, bossing me around disgust me.

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  • I pretend that their arrogance & condescension doesn't bother me. My sunny disposition cloaks my true feelings. It's true that I warble out "Have a nice day!" all of the time, but

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  • in my irritable bowels, I suppress a cyclone of arrogance & condescension that would traumatize even the more tolerant people in the office. After today, the asshole ME takes over.

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  • I really didn't like being the asshole. Unfortunately I was very good at being the asshole. People would be stupid on purpose, i think, just to see me be an asshole to them. For

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  • all I know, this asshole-ish attitude might be in my DNA, inherited from my great-grandfather who, according to family lore, was touring the US as part of a freak circus in 1856.

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  • "See the man with 6 buttholes!" cried the circus barker. Thus began my great-grandpa's illustrious career, first with a fertilizer company, then as a drug mule able to smuggle huge

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  • quantities of contraband across national borders. But Great-great Grandad (I called him Poppers) didn't realize the true potential of his six rectums until he joined an ocarina

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  • quintet. He could play all 5 ocarinas himself with 5 of his rectums & still had 1 rectum left to be the MC. Thing was, Poppers still had just 2 hands, which made fingering the oca

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  • rinas challenging. In the end, it was his acclaimed musical based on Gone with the Wind that turned him into an inspirational figure for all polyrectums people of his generation.

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2 Comments

  1. IceSquad Jun 10 2020 @ 06:56

    Bravo! Encore!

  2. Woab Jun 12 2020 @ 13:36

    I concur with IceSquad. Marvelously entertaining.

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