Are you tired from a long drive on Highway

Are you tired from a long drive on Highway 66? Are you looking for a nice place to rest? Why not come on over to Bates Motel, now with Color TV and miniature golf!

and the showers & drains work splendidly at Bates Motel. The late night commercial ended with violins rhythmically striking discordant notes. "Why not?" I was on Rte 66 and

my narcolepsy was kicking in. I pulled into the Bates Motel parking lot and stared at the blood-red neon hotel sign. A disco ball was whirling in an upstairs room and loud rap musi

c made me think back to the 80s when I had the word 'radical' shaved into the back of my head. I used to think I was so 'street'. In reality, I was just as rebellious as my parents

, only I have a much bigger head than either of them ever did. All my mom could shave on her head was a peace sign & my dad only had his initials. Nowadays, the three of us are

pariahs in our community. We have been consigned to a shack on a small plot of infertile land and forced into night labor where we can't be seen. Why did my parents shave the curse

d hairy sigil from my little chest in my early years? The other kids avoided me anyway. But now I was grown. I strode into town bare-chested, hairy-sigiled, but unsure how to treat

or Trick as these kids kept shouting on the porches. Totally naked above the waist I sauntered around town. I let my chest work its magic. Huge gelatinous manliness oozed

off my torso, down my thighs, over my knees & dripped onto the pavement. I was a like the biggest macho slug you'd ever want to meet. Me & my chest sauntered into a manicure parlou

r and the guy said "You have no hands. Go away." Dejected, I decided to end it all. I would have poured salt on myself, but it would take me a week to get to the store.