After I ate the magic mushroom I rapidly

After I ate the magic mushroom I rapidly grew to twice my original size. A large turtle headed aggressively my way so I hopped on it, and sent the shell skidding away. I continued

to ride the turtle and realized it was a giant turd. The giant doorknob had taken a growler and I was floating on it. Disgusted I jumped off. I saw a floating cat anus and thought

someone has an anal fetish. Suddenly I heard a sucking sound and the calm waters turned into a churning maelstrom. I was pulled into the center of the whirling mass and downward

into the world's largest milkshake. I struggled through the creamy strawberry mass, but once I reached the surface I hear a buzzing sound – bees! I pull out my jet-ski and

unfold it. These new foldable jet-skis: incredibly handy, but in the most hideous colors imaginable. I groaned at the terrible mix of puce and chartreuse as I set it in the water.

In a second, I was on my way. It was then that I realized my terrible mistake: I had forgotten to lock the foldable jet-skis. The center gave way and I began to

feel a rather sharp splitting pain in my groin area. Fortunately, I quickly remembered that I am in fact an octopus, hence it

into thinking they would make fine entrepreneurs by selling fresh delicious ink on the beach. I grabbed ALL of my legs, and made my way to the beach when I ran into

another octopus. He said.. actually you know what? I apologize for this terrible narrative, and do bid you goodbye.