I am out of my mind. It's alright though.

I am out of my mind. It's alright though. I hear this voice. It tells me how to behave to avoid my madness from drawing attention. Now I suspect it is setting me up.

I leave the forest and seek the path. There is one that turns into a roadway. The voice in my head tells me to seek the mall, and then the food court. I resist for their sakes, but

damn they look so good. My fruitless journey for spiritual enlightenment has left me famished. Salivating, I go up to the disappointed kid behind the counter and whisper excitedly

"Is that a Dragon Fruit?" the kid looked bored but nodded handed me the Dragon Fruit to examine. Soon after I held the bright pink Dragon Fruit in my hands a loud rumble in my

rectum reminded me that I'd better not even think about eating the Dragon Fruit. But it was so pink, so luciously juicy...I could not help myself. Two hours later, I was at the ER,

"...What am I doing here again?" I asked myself as I stared at the birdshot was ready to be picked clean off his jiggly nipples. "I did not sign up for this."

The more I thought about it: the bird shot, the jiggly nipples, the more angry I became. I'm a reasonable person--but make me angry and I can do anything. Ask Lady Gaga, ask Paul

or the Queen of England. I have written letters to several high ranking celebrities about my neighbor shotgunning pigeons topless. A man's house is his kingdom, but really.

Later on, it turned out that my neighbor was a bit insane. He was sent to an asylum founded by a pigeon lover and he was about to follow a pigeon-based therapy for the next 9 years