"Ball Don't Lie" was the slogan of Madame

"Ball Don't Lie" was the slogan of Madame Fortuna's Magic 8-Ball Shakery & Readery. Seeing as how an 8-Ball can't knowingly tell an untruth, I couldn't disagree. Her rates were

exorbitant, and sometimes she didn't even really use the balls. I didn't want to upset her by complaining, but $50 to be told that the balls didn't see it? Lame. So I stole her

. My clothes were strange because no one else was wearing any. I had time-leaped back to the garden of eden. Adam and Eve stared at me. Eve said,

"Have you looked at the sky?" On its blue shell Satan was balanced looking down on the garden. He leapt and glided down, a winged serpent. Adam and Eve asked me what it was

that made my eyes bug out, until they turned and saw Satan swooping down on us. "RUN!!" cried Adam. "To the Tree of Knowledge!" But Eve hesitated...and Adam & I couldn't wait

to try out our new cookware from Williams-Sonoma. Eve flashed the titanium pan at Satan and licked her lips. "Coq au Vin," she tantalized. Satan smiled. It was his favorite dish,

Having watched julia child on the tellie. He wanted to kill the chicken as a ritual sacrifice. Eve said, "I just bought some at the store. You don't need to." Satan sat down and

sharpened his claws whilst Eve cleaned the birds. She whacked them with a heavy duty meat cleaver just like her pa taught her. Satan was impressed. "Now for the altar."

And even if the night was darkest, the ritual filled them with warmth and pleasure. They would never be alone again.