story 2

story 2

Scene 4: Exterior Diner. Man with slight limp walks from stage left to right. Vagabond enters holding small rucksack. VAGABOND: Wait! Can you spare a dime? MAN:

(who's unemployed) What's that? As Vagabond looks L, Man steals his rucksack, runs off stage R. VAGABOND: (sobbing) Woe is me! Scene 5: [Large carrot descends from rafters] CARROT:

I cannot speak, for I am a carrot! Scene 6: [A hillside begins moving on its own] CLARA: The hills are alive! [hill chases CLARA] And they're out to get me!

I'm not paranoid! I'm not paranoid! [curtain] Scene 7: [CLARA sprawled onstage, moaning] BUSTER: Well, what's this? Are those tire marks? [hill giggles]

CLARA: No, they are stretch marks. I just had your baby and boy, is my cervix tired! BUSTER: Where is he? Where is my baby boy? BABY: Here I am, Pops! Can I have my allowance?

BUSTER: Didn't your mother teach you any manners? CLARA: I just had him yesterday... BABY: Gimme my money! (doorbell rings, Clara answers) GIRL SCOUT: Buy some cookies or else!

Clara to Girl Scout with taser: "I'll take or else." Baby: "I want my milk money!" Buster: "Here have a stolen girl scout cookie. Rousing Girl Scout with a police walkie: Ned we'v

e got a Mint munter, I say again, Mint munter! i did not want to find out what they did to Mint munters because I was pretty sure that Mint munter was me. I kicked the Girl Scout