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A potato, some shoelaces, one earring and

  • A potato, some shoelaces, one earring and some Juicy Fruit gum...that was my plan. That's all I need to destroy the

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  • Iran's centrifuge program. While everyone was distracted by my one earring, I took a wad of gum and dangled the potato by a shoestring into the machine. My sabotage plan worked as

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  • well as could be expected, but it unfortunately didn't do a thing to fix my car, which was what I'd gone there for in the first place. "Darn it, now what am I gonna do?"

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  • Then totally wished I hadn't said that IN the garage. Those manly men there always laughed at my fear of tools. Or maybe it was the lederhosen.

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  • I also hated sauerkraut, weisswurst, the Godawful Blue Danube and Nazis. Perhaps my 3 year exchange to Munich University was a mistake? I also hate speaking German. Oh yes, and

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  • don't forget the god awful beer festivals.. "But these are all great reasons why you should be trained as a future foreign minister" the prime minister, my father, assured me.

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  • So my father the prime minister and I went to the beer festival. We both stood next to the kegs and had a power black out. When we woke up there was burning flesh everywhere and

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  • I soon realised the kegs were not filed with beer but with Greek Fire. My father the Prime Minister had somehow survived because he was laying next to me without a scratch

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  • , while I, on the other hand, was extremely itchy and had to scratch quite a bit. Nonetheless, my father and I now had the weapons we needed to defeat our enemies. The Greek Fire

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  • Dragon is a rare site. Often found indeep caves their living conditions became their own demise. Relocation efforts have been made to nearby volcanoes but no success has been made.

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