The day our mother announced she was pregnant

The day our mother announced she was pregnant again, we all came out of the closet.

We had to come out, it was getting awkward with 5 of us flaming homosexuals crammed up in one tiny closet. We gave poor mom such a scare she almost had a miscarriage! Her 6th baby

was no other than Chuck Norris, who won superpowers by sucking the souls of his unborn brothers. He then turned us straight and then

A portly woman. A big boned woman. A hefty example of womanhood. El tubbo grande. Rubenesque and then some. So even he only managed to carry her to the door of the

submarine before plummeting to his watery death. "Big Ma", as she was soon to be dubbed, turned out to be a damned good submarine pilot, mostly because she couldn't climb out of

her own skin and reach depths anew. Big Ma was a member of Sgt. Lonely Hearts Club Band

and sang Ringo’s vocal on “With a Little Help from My Friends” with great enthusiasm. Problem was, Big Ma couldn’t carry a tune if it had handles, and the rest of the band plotted

to kidnap her. “What about a Magical Mystery Tour?” invited Paul. “She could be the Walrus,” exclaimed John. “Don’t be silly,” added George, “She’ll be Ringo’s Aunt.” And she was.

But she was already back in the USSR, firing up her yellow submarine with a little help from her friends. She just needed to avoid rag-tag groups of mop-tops from now on.