He'd opened the netflix envelop in excitement.
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He'd opened the netflix envelop in excitement. After four weeks of staring that movie sleeve, he mailed it back without even watching the movie because
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it wasn't blu-ray. This time he was prepared, though. The would be the greatest Netflix experience ever. He had his disk, his popcorn, and his blanket. All he needed was
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an adapter to convert his VHS player shaped like a Corvette Sting Ray to Netflix CD format. The 7/11 on the corner should have one. twice he had
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gone there before and left empty-handed, so upon reflection could not pin down the reasoning that led him to attempt a third time. But he desperately loved worthless technology.
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Desperately, he carved an iPhone out of bar of soap. He got on the bus and pretended to play "Angry Birds." He nudged another passenger. "Oh, those pigs! Heh-Heh!" A bit of string
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then floated down to his soap phone. He tied the end securely around the phone, testing the strength of the knot. His new weapon would prove useful at the next
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intersection. It had one-way traffic because of construction. "Perfect." He threw the phone at a worker holding a stop sign, knocking him unconscious. "It's my way on the highway
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!" he shouted. With that, he drove right into the oncoming traffic and hit a little old lady in a little red car head on. She was wearing her seat belt, but he went flying through
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the air, and fortunately, the little old lady was driving a convertible with the top down, having just gone to Costco. He landed on 67 unopened packs of Depends in the back seat
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The fluffy landing was further cushioned by her affectionate welcome "What took you so long God?" She took him home to meet her supercentenarian parents.
6
- Started
- 2011-03-02 18:37:11
- Finished
- 2011-09-07 02:52:50
4 Comments
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buddyboy4711 Sep 07 2011 @ 16:31
I'd figured that "intersection" would be a random twist, but apparently we were already on the bus. Coolio!
m80 Sep 07 2011 @ 23:05
Sweet little ending!
SlimWhitman Sep 08 2011 @ 03:15
Thanks! I thought, "Now why does she need so many Depends...?"
sundancer Sep 08 2011 @ 18:28
Yes buddyboy! He got on the public bus and then took over and began driving it! Haha.