I'd lifted the lid of the outhouse toilet

I'd lifted the lid of the outhouse toilet seat everytime I used it, looking for scorpions and their ilk. Why the hell did I concede to this vacation in a log cabin? A paw appeared

, then the bear torso it was attached to. "Any 2-ply?" he asked. It made sense that the Charmin bears were corprophiliacs -- too much sense. "How do I know you're who you claim?"

The Charmin Bears showed him the notorious dingle berries. All suspicion was vitiated. But the Care Bears and the Gummi Bears, did not consider the Charmin Bears to be real

bears. But unfortunately, revenge was not sweet, and soon, nobody cared. And that's how the Charmin Bears won the Great Toilet Paper War of 1978.

It was a close battle, but the SnuggleBear & StrawberryShortcake were no match. Those damn CharminBears pulled out all the stops. 1st it was the TP blasters, then it was the toilet

shenanigans, and all the plungers were in use by the end of the trial, so everyone had to evacuate the building. Then the bear police showed up, and everyone was

in the toilets always go missing and they eat all the cakes. "All rise for the Queen!" growled an ugly grizzly as the judge walked in. The Bear Police in court started to

surround the Queen for protection, but then they pawsed. The Queen hastily wiped the cake crumbs from her face, then sat regally to judge the situation. "Will the accused step forw

ard. It's just a jump to the left & then a step to the right. Put ur hands on ur hips U bring your knees in tight. But it's the pelvic thrust That really drives you insane..."