If my Great Uncle Wilfred had not died in
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If my Great Uncle Wilfred had not died in 1919 of the Spanish Flu in London, he would have lived his life as
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a sword-swallowing hermaphrodite in the Great London Circus Company. But, alas, Uncle Willie--as he was affectionately known--was cremated along with a box of his
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usually collapsing swords and a case of the bearded lady's Fat Havvanah Cigars. Yes, we think she was a he, and so you have inherited Uncle Willies wily ways & the bearded lady's
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shady spades. Or something like that. Never was sure of the specific kinds of shenanigans those two got up to. Anyway, you should make the best of your inheritance, son, for you
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are a layabout and will never have any other income. I would caution you to invest your inheritance, but I doubt you would listen, my boy. Loose women have taken your loose change
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. He sat for a moment, looking hurt and confused and not quite able to digest all this terrible news. Then he cried out: “Oh
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yeah!" as he burst through the nearest wall, screaming and sobbing internally behind the mask of a smile that was plastered on his face. Little did the children know the terrible
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Truth about the three headed monster created by executive order. This creature had three noses and three hands and three toes on each foot. It was friendly but looked too scary.
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"Bah," Said the director of Area 51. "These speculative illustrations of the Raman aliens are preposterous. Triangular bodies? C'mon!" "What if we gave them boobs?" "Now THAT's a
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start, but there's much work to do! I need every able bodied man in the facility to commence The Brainstorm." "Yes sir!" The alarm sang, aliens will be expressed in their true form
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- Started
- 2015-07-14 03:24:31
- Finished
- 2016-09-12 19:51:10
3 Comments
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KieferSkunk Sep 12 2016 @ 23:20
Boy, this kid gets around! From a descendant of the Great Bearded Lady, to the Kool-Aid Man, to Area 51. I'm impressed!
inatick Sep 15 2016 @ 05:22
Thanks everyone for giving my great uncle Wilfred an extraordinary life. Sadly, he did die in London from influenza after being shipped to the UK to fight in WWI which had finished before he arrived in London and now his tragic story has been rewritten to give him a full and eventful life. If Wilfred could comment on the life you have given him I'm sure he'd be proud of your efforts.
Crazydance Sep 15 2016 @ 22:28
God bless Wilfred