Some of us

Some of us

Like to be the center of attention. But

Screamed the trapped soul in the funhouse mirror.

It's distorted visage reminded me of... my God. Is that. No, it can't be. But it was. The head in the mirror winked menacingly and then my cart dropped down a tunnel lined with

playing cards, old books, and tea pots. Down, down, down the rabbit hole I went. The evil mirror crashed down the hole after me, pieces falling into my eyes and distorting my

my vision with blood that leaked from the ensuing lacerations. I would have to depend on other eyes, and my third one unfolded, a three-dimensional pyramid spinning out in all

directions, creating a virtual image in my mind so vivid I almost forgot about the pain. It was still there, though, and feeling warm ooze on my chest reminded me of the troubles I

had with chest hair waxing. I began to panic in reality, although I was virtually elsewhere. Or was it the other way around? I sensed my body traveling faster than light and then

remembered the salesman saying that size 34 underpants would press my testicles up against my spine and give me a terrible headache. I immediately freed myself from the underpants.