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He wanted to "Mercedes" his mother. So he

  • He wanted to "Mercedes" his mother. So he designed a car that had her curves and personality, but she was a cantankerous squash-shaped octogenarian. The "Gertrude" sold poorly but

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  • then he shifted gears. He was driven to make a "Mercedes" based on his fat old mother and her spare tire. But she died. Carbon monoxide poisoning. So he attached her brain to a

    5
  • Dodge Caravan and attached a Mercedes hood ornament he'd jimmied off some poor shmuck's E350. He didn't really expect his mother to be able to express herself thru the minivan. She

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  • was more the PT Cruiser type, where there was no need for the step ladder like the four-wheel drive truck. His mama's boy reputation was contrary to snatching the hood ornament

    6
  • s off of vehicles, like he was rumored to due. I doubt he did that anyways. Now back to the vehicle which fit him best, the PT Cruiser. Now his wife, Thumbelina, had no license.

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  • As she was a tiny ball of light, she hadn't managed to steer the PT Cruiser - even though it had power steering and everything. So Thumbelina caught the bus to work, healthwise a

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  • good decision. That is, until Fat Rhonda got on the bus and sat on Thumbelina, snuffing out her light. Thumbelina was suffocating under Fat Rhonda and was fading fast. Just as she

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  • was about to give up all hope of ever taking another breath again, Fat Rhonda shifted in her bus seat to fart, her butt cheek moving ever so slightly thereby allowing Thumbelina to

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  • escape before the toxic gas engulfed her. Thumbelina was on a bus to the windy city to visit her boyfriend Tom Thumb. She did not expect Fat Rhonda to

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  • waddle all the way to the backseat along the narrow aisle. Rhonda cause the chassis to grind on the rear axle, bringing the entire bus to a halt. Somehow she couldn't fit back off.

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3 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Mar 12 2013 @ 14:14

    Yay! One of the office mates out for a ride. I like these guys. They give me Dilbert chills.

  2. sundancer Mar 12 2013 @ 20:49

    Haha... the beginning is so weirdly interesting and funny. :-)

  3. PurpleProf Mar 12 2013 @ 21:28

    I agree...the beginning of this story is GREAT! Really made me stop and think about what kind of car my mother would be.

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