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As a method actor, he was having a difficult

  • As a method actor, he was having a difficult time passing off as a little league shortstop with his 280 pound girth

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  • and lack of soul-crushing dugout chants. He decided to pay attention to his kids for the first time in years in hopes of learning about 12-year-olds and baseball. The director

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  • then realized that his kids weren't his. He studied his two boys. They looked entirely different than him. Then the director looked at his wife who was eating kettle corn and

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  • had kernels stuck between her teeth. The director knew that the two boys were not his, but his wife didn't know that he knew. His boys actually sort of resembled Danny Bonaduce.

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  • Danny Bonaduce knew that the Director knew that the Director's wife didn't know that the Director knew that the boys weren't the Director's. What Danny Bonaduce didn't know was

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  • that those two red headed boys were his, but then again no one ever accused him of being a genius. They were just cast in the Patridge Family remake how could it not be

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  • a hit show?! Everyone loved the sexual tension between the mom and that producer guy, or was he the manager? So Danny Partridge (as he wanted to be called now) was reading the scri

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  • pt with his pants around his ankles when the mom walked in. Danny Partridge said it freed his mind to let it all hang out as read the script. She looked longingly at his script

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  • and then shook herself sharply to clear such poisonous thoughts from her head. This was a family show after all and we had our audience to consider. Clearly mom Partridge knew

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  • too much about my copy of the Necronomicon. She would have to die, but in a way that wouldn't cause the average American family to suspect any underworld dealings were involved.

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