Your mission, should you choose to accept

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to defeat Lex Luthor, the Joker, and Spider-Man in a three-minute cage match. Good luck, Jim. This message will self-destruct.

In thirty seconds. And it did. Thirty seconds later and the message filtered into the air, nothing but ashe dropping to the ground. Jim knew at once he had no choice but to accept

The Nobel Piece Prize trophy, this would be the perfect place for his cat, Winkers, ashes. What a good kitty, she never even saw that alligator.

He put his cat's ashes into the Nobel Peace Prize trophy. No one knew that Obama loved his cat Winkers. It was like a bloodhound. They were chasing down a bloodthirsty Gator in

Darwin till it was eaten by an even larger salt water crocodile. The crocodile had no problem eating Obama's cat after drowning it in a death roll. The ashes were made from an ear

ful of talk from Charlie Sheen. And Sadam really thought he was the biggest loser on the block! And all this went to prove that perhaps indeed we are negatively evolving. I was

standing there, minding my own business when someone threw a bucket of icy water on my tee shirt. My ample bosom stretched tight against the fabric. Just then, Don Fallico rode up

heaved with excitement, for I loved nothing more than to sink my teeth into Burger King' s juicy meat. Don Fallico knew my weakness & smiled behind his own metaphorical cards. I

ate the whole damn burger and felt ashamed of myself. Why would you do this? I thought. Running to the bathroom, I spewed the wretched food and cried silently in the stall.