Those who sign here petition the United States

Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding, & begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. By focusing our defense resources on a space-superiority

trying to do the right thing. Build a Death Star, fine. Performance enhancing drugs, great. Pure evil taking over the universe by force, sure whatever. Nate

absolutely refused, however, to return Leila's call. Dammit! Why couldn't she get the message?! Nate threw himself into building the Death Star, cursing all the while."Once I get

finished carving this pumpkin like a death star, I'm sure to get asked onto Ellen." Nate didn't high aspirations for his life. Without knowing it Nate had discovered an anti

christ mint candy that, once eaten, was destined to ruin the life of whoever swallowed it. And that meant Nate. So, yeah, he was a geek and destined never to get laid, but at least

he could blame the candy for all his problems. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I believe Nate's problem isn't his geekiness but due to a druid's curse. At the winter solstice Nate's

misfit group of friends gather at Stonehenge where the last druid performs a rite of questionable authenticity. He distributes "candy" to Nate and the others, and 60 minutes later

Nate will fall to the ground dead. This is because the "candy " is laced with cyanide, enough to drop an elephant.

And so the plans for Nate's assassination were set. Jeff placed the cyanide laced candy in his draw and waited. But being healthy, Nate chose to eat carrots instead.