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The Zombie Master of Zombie Zen teachings

  • The Zombie Master of Zombie Zen teachings climbed the hill and saw the zombie crowd that had gathered to listen him. The Zombie Master scratched his eye socket and began to talk:

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  • Zombie 'people'! Listen to the Zombie Zen Teachings! These lessons teach you to be a zombie. Zombies in the world, let's be zombies! - the zombie master said. And he spoke again:

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  • "Do not let brains lead you astray - be one with your corpse". The assembled zombie horde intoned. "Ommmmm-num-num-num". Bruce played along. He'd infiltrated the zen zombie cult

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  • because these undead Buddhist monsters had more pizzazz than his normal Tuesday night poker group. Bruce already had a taste for brains, and most of the other zen zombies seemed to

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  • not mind his predilection for the liver - he always had to be different, and, really, moaning "Braaaaiiinnnss" incessantly was so passe. Besides, undead Buddhists could not play

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  • Scrabble very well, apparently Buddhists dont spell all that well. So, do you know what vegetarian zombies eat? "Graaaaaiiiiiins"...which was really funny considering, King Buddah

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  • was about the most boring person in the world. Hell would freeze over before he'd crack a joke like that. His jester went on: "This zombie was so old," "HOW OLD WAS IT?"

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  • The king hated the jester, and showed it with his smile. The evil smile of the Knockwart King. It chilled the jester's heart. It meant that he would never return to the happy

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  • euphoric state he was in when he danced all night at Slammin Vinyl. The evil Knockwart King hated ravers as he was a goth... a visigoth. The Jester wanted to dance but the grumpy

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  • king got his way and kicked us all out of the club. Visigoths are real partypoopers. I just think they have a lot of Gaul.

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