I was rollerblading in front of my house

I was rollerblading in front of my house at top speed carrying a huge pot of boiling water. Suddenly

my potatoes were boiled in more ways than one. I stopped mid-skate, set the pot on the ground, and removed the oil vat from my backpack to check my fries.

As I was checking the fries, someone skated past me, knocking over the oil vat. I watched in horror as all my fries and the oil spilled out onto the ground.

The chef turned slowly towards me, eyes bloodshot with rage. He fingered the edges of his steak knife. "What's all that oil doing on the ground, Jimmy?" he breathed. I blanched.

The knife point was now wobbling inches from my neck, and I needed an answer. "It was the robots, Chef. You know how they like to excrete liquids." A snort. "Be very careful Jimmy

, my pasta was nearly ruined. Do it again”, he said, waving his knife point, “and you’ll become my next meal. Understood?” I nodded so vigorously that I accidentally...

slammed the back of my head into the wall. I was out like a light. I have no idea how much time passed while I was unconscious. When I woke, I found myself trussed up like a pig.

better than I had before, but once they put the apple in my mouth and baked me in a hot oven for four hours, basting me at intervals, I began to smell like Thanksgiving. I didn't

mind, though. It was all part of my plan to conquer this planet.They consumed me & I in turn gained residence in each of them. "They" became "me". Happy Thanksgiving indeed.