Jimmer-dimmer Habby-Babby Cheddareater Smith

Jimmer-dimmer Habby-Babby Cheddareater Smith hated his name, so he changed it to Jimmer-dimmer Habby-Babby Cheddareater Jones.

Mr. Jones's lawyer, who filed the name change, was named John Jacob JingleHeimer-Smith. Mr. Smith could relate, as every time he introduced himself, they'd say "Thats my name too!"

This hadn't been a problem for Jones's lawyer until he went into Wills and Trusts practice. Whenever he went the people would always shout there goes John Jacob JingleHeimer-Smith,

and he found this terribly odd because in actual fact it didn't jingle, but rather it chuckled. This had a tendency to get in the way of some of his more intimate relationships.

He could cover up the chuckle by laughing when it started, but then his heart started to whisper dirges &baudy limericks during tender intimate moments. He went to a cardiologist

who implanted a device that could put his heart on mute.It had several side effects.Whenever he muted his heart, he became a douche bag cross between Doug Anthony Hutchinson and

Bozo,the clown.Though his Doug Anthony Hutchinson half was not the dominant one he tried hard to tame the Bozo half so that he would never,ever again

uck the airport security guard over the head with a bedazzled porcupine & made a run for it, his red fuzzy hair bouncing, drug paraphernalia falling from his pockets. Bozo' s shoes

slapped on the marble floor. In slo-mo the wig flew to the left, the red nose to the right. Bozo's life flashed before his eyes and the sun dazzled him as he fell, tears falling.