"This old man. He played one. He played Nick

"This old man. He played one. He played Nick Nack on my thumb. With a Nick Nack paddy whack. Give the dog a bone. This old man came rolling home." Nick Nack was not amused.

Paddy Whack was a loan officer at Nick Nack's bank who had denied him a loan for his home renovations. Nick did not need to be reminded of the experience. It was last November when

his old man came rolling home. Literally. His old man's legs were blown off during the Tet Offensive of '68 and Nick Nack needed the loan to remodel the trailer so Dad could maneuv

-er the big screen tv into the bathroom. Legless Nack was his old man's name. Nick called him "The Waister." Legless Nack was known sit on the can for so long that huge amounts

of grey fuzzy white noise would shoot out from all orifices at once. So Nick and Nack began to watch the news in the bathroom, on that big screen. Nick had a heart for the legless

Fortunately, when the orphan's under the Monk's care caught wind of his thievery, they soon joined him. Rich men were suddenly afraid to wander the cookie farm, lest they be accost

Ed by begging Monks. There was a major food shortage locally, so it was every man for himself. This was what the astromeotorologists had predicted years ago. The Monks fed cookies

to flowers, or at least they tried.Insane from hunger and frustrated by the flowers' stubbornness, the monks threw their cookies at them.The flowers remained calm,no need to fight.

The monks, sensing the uselessness of their plight, went back to their monastery, leaving the flowers safe, at least until winter came.