In the apocalypse, even the celebrities were

In the apocalypse, even the celebrities were turned into zombies. However, this had little effect on their careers. Tay Zonday released Chocolate Brain, and Justin Bieber

found even more discriminating music groupies. Their ears had rotted and fallen off but they really liked Z-Biebers boy-zombie look. The Zombopocalypse meant that celebs with brain

s were even harder to come by than usual. Z-Bieber never should have had to worry about that, but apparently there were enough rabid fangirls willing to zombify him, regardless.

That's when it hit me, this stuff just got real. Z-Beiber was the perfect storm of hell, frozen time and nausea. I picked up my M16 that I had welded a chainsaw to, smoked meat tim

e having come and gone while I was pondering and dammit I was hungry. I let loose with a burst from the M16, but the recoil set the chainsaw going as well, and I nearly lost my lef

t testicle in the resulting shenanigans. I switched off the chainsaw, carefully put down the M16 and smiled weakly at the waitress. She stood there tapping her pad with her biro. I

ordered some coconut pie to appease her. "...and coffee," I said, intent on making amends. She returned 5 minutes later & banged the pie down in front of me. "Anything else?" she

spat. "Sure, I'll take a steak sandwich. To go. And how's the pizza here?" She said "Shit on a shingle, son. Just make up your mind. I am dooooo-ooooone." I laughed. "All right, in

Neither. I settled on some magic water that would take me to El Dorado and I would become rich. I hoped it wasn't a dream.