He was a gangly guy, a nipple-ripper alright,

  • He was a gangly guy, a nipple-ripper alright, with an eye for the ladies and a taste for whiskey. Boasting a purple velvet vest, he zig-zagged into the room, smelling of ambergris.

  • A whale swallowed him in the 1850s, which explains his odor and fashion. He criss-crossed his heart, saying, "Priesthood or ladies, give me a sign." The modern landlubber bar scene

  • was so monochromatic ever since dj's started using CD's and stuff. The half whale-digested sea Zombie ripped the DJ's head off, the crowd shrieked and then the Monster got behind

  • The microphone and sang "Monster Mash" as everyone celebrated Halloween. October 2016 was a creepy time in itself. Zombie Soda was sold as a prank but it tasted dreadfully similar

  • to homebrewed Monster Mash, a bathtub moonshine which only once in a while caused blindness. It was quite popular that October 2016 with a certain crowd south of 99th & Euclid. Sub

  • -marines dove into the giant bathtubs full of moonshine and re-surfaced only to find that their periscopes were blinded. The sailors aboard heaved over the sides, only to dive

  • into drunken blackouts. As bootleg whiskey splashed into their leaky sub, life preservers were hurled out to rescue their brave naval officers from this bathtub of instant regret.

  • Harvey, the stow-a-way Hobo selflessly caught the stream of bootleg whiskey seeping into the sub in his mouth. The other sailors were too caught up in admiration to stop him lighti

  • ng his dog end with the grizzly stubble of his arsehole. He leapt forward and planted a kiss on the sea captains smackers. The captain giggled and blushed, slightly drunk from the

  • Harvey Wallbanger cake he kept jammed in his jodhpurs."How do ya fancy me now?"he said proudly to the Captain. "I'll put it this way,"said Cap. "What do ya think of a May wedding?"



  1. ValkyrieGrrl Feb 16 2020 @ 16:19

    Slim Whitman, Woab, MoralEnd, you guys always deliver! Sweet stuff ....;-)

  2. ValkyrieGrrl Feb 16 2020 @ 16:20

    Oh! Shoot, I meant to include Purple Prof in that too, well, everyone! My bad!

  3. Woab Feb 18 2020 @ 13:17

    Your line was a winner too, VG. I may start saying "jam that in your jodhpurs"!

  4. PurpleProf Feb 20 2020 @ 00:42

    Thank you! I've not been "here" as much as I was in the past. Pesky students!!

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