He was a gangly guy, a nipple-ripper alright,
He was a gangly guy, a nipple-ripper alright, with an eye for the ladies and a taste for whiskey. Boasting a purple velvet vest, he zig-zagged into the room, smelling of ambergris.4
A whale swallowed him in the 1850s, which explains his odor and fashion. He criss-crossed his heart, saying, "Priesthood or ladies, give me a sign." The modern landlubber bar scene5
was so monochromatic ever since dj's started using CD's and stuff. The half whale-digested sea Zombie ripped the DJ's head off, the crowd shrieked and then the Monster got behind5
The microphone and sang "Monster Mash" as everyone celebrated Halloween. October 2016 was a creepy time in itself. Zombie Soda was sold as a prank but it tasted dreadfully similar4
to homebrewed Monster Mash, a bathtub moonshine which only once in a while caused blindness. It was quite popular that October 2016 with a certain crowd south of 99th & Euclid. Sub2
-marines dove into the giant bathtubs full of moonshine and re-surfaced only to find that their periscopes were blinded. The sailors aboard heaved over the sides, only to dive4
into drunken blackouts. As bootleg whiskey splashed into their leaky sub, life preservers were hurled out to rescue their brave naval officers from this bathtub of instant regret.5
Harvey, the stow-a-way Hobo selflessly caught the stream of bootleg whiskey seeping into the sub in his mouth. The other sailors were too caught up in admiration to stop him lighti4
ng his dog end with the grizzly stubble of his arsehole. He leapt forward and planted a kiss on the sea captains smackers. The captain giggled and blushed, slightly drunk from the4
Harvey Wallbanger cake he kept jammed in his jodhpurs."How do ya fancy me now?"he said proudly to the Captain. "I'll put it this way,"said Cap. "What do ya think of a May wedding?"4
- 2013-04-11 23:54:39
- 2019-09-03 12:25:01
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ValkyrieGrrl Feb 16 2020 @ 16:19
Slim Whitman, Woab, MoralEnd, you guys always deliver! Sweet stuff ....;-)
ValkyrieGrrl Feb 16 2020 @ 16:20
Oh! Shoot, I meant to include Purple Prof in that too, well, everyone! My bad!
Woab Feb 18 2020 @ 13:17
Your line was a winner too, VG. I may start saying "jam that in your jodhpurs"!
PurpleProf Feb 20 2020 @ 00:42
Thank you! I've not been "here" as much as I was in the past. Pesky students!!