I don't have a face.

I don't have a face.

...because of the accident...the one YOU caused, remember? It was YOUR fault. You said our experiment wasn't dangerous. But you LIED. And now I am going to HAUNT you forever.

The speaker manifold vibrated with disgust. I knew it was my fault: the brain of my wife in a jar. I had to make it up to her. All I needed was a body. I clicked on Craig's List.

And, of course got distracted by the sexual want ads on Craigslist. I really took my time reading through this torrid bio of a bi curious janitor. My wife's brain got really jealou

s. The tub it was in started to heat up. An alarm sounded & I changed her brains spinal fluid, & adjusted the mirror so her eyes floating like two eggs sunny side up couldn't see

the tanks with her various body parts in them. You see, I'm a literal minded kind of guy so when she said "I love you to bits" I didn't need further encouragement. As long as her b

its stayed in the tanks where they belonged, everything would be fine. But of course this is not what happened. At the stroke of midnight, I felt her detached hand touch my face. I

begged her to teach me magic. She agreed. But only on one condition. I was to prove the existence of every myth and supernatural creature on this planet.

raper, that the Loch Ness monster was actually Bigfoot and Chupacabra's long lost lovechild, and most importantly, the secret to Giorgio Tsoukalos' gravity-defying hair: Aliens!