Suzy stood up in front of the whole class,

a dirty diaper and make cole slaw." Suzy smiled because she was an old folks home.

There were always things going on at the old folks home and tonight was the talent show. The residents had been practicing for weeks! Everyone gathered in the community room and

constantly rambled about their grandchildren or randomly yelled out 'Bingo' before the talent show commenced. The first act was an elderly man with one leg playing the bagpipes

. He had a certain je ne sais quoi but I don't think the audience really 'got him'. Next up at the talent show was a mute ventriloquist. His act was kind of like charades but with

a creepy doll called Lord Hawhaw. The audience were amazed when Lord Hawhaw spoke, no hands, while his ventriloquist was propped up at the bar. Then the doll spoke about Stalingrad

and Leningrad.Could that be a clue?I had none!Rachmaninoff,the ventriloquist was obviously from some old cold forgoten Siberian corner...could aliens be taking over Russia and

replacing Russian intellectuals by simulcra? Rachmaninoff had a small toy piano on his knee. He asked "What will you play for me today Natalja?" The piano began to play 12 tone

Dub-steb remixes of Gregorian chants. Rachmaninoff looked at his toy piano quizzically. "Hmm. I do not believe that was supposed to happen." He had no choice but to

burn his piano to the ground, but by then the knowledge had already seeped out. Anti-knowledge, really. Only a time machine could rectify this, making Doctor Who the real villain.