Chet Varga always tried to be a responsible

Chet Varga always tried to be a responsible and buxom member of society. But when at age 58 he suddenly found himself under high-security lockdown for texting while walking, Chet

took to writing on his cell's walls. After 5 years, he'd written a novel about a one-armed Colonel who falls in love with his son's wife. The prison guards were so mesmerized

by the masterpiece that they began to pay little attention to the other prisoners and only guard his cell. When the prison riot happen every prisoner escaped except for the writer.

The writer, the only inmate, had 300 guards on shifts outside his cell. He communicated with them as usual, by haiku. My cell is guarded/By too many of you lot/You are all nutters

: Look behind you now/Pompous ass you sure are/Good-bye, savvy guard. And with that, the haiku battle was won by the writer, who did indeed escape. Haiku saved his life once again.

He began using haiku everywhere.When he got cut off in traffic he yelled out the window, "You're an idiot/I'll follow you, watch you park/And will slash your tires." He felt so zen

and told everyone so. "You can't be truly zen if you brag about how zen you are," Guru Jake said. "That's just not zen, man." "I think you stink Jake/I won't listen to your words/

I am the most zen person you'll ever meet. You might call yourself a "Guru", Jake, but you have no idea, what it means to live like I do. What it means to get up every day and

plant tomatoes, cucumbers, and EVEN MORE to support my family. I've had enough of this. And I'm happy I finally get to end you,"