"Check my stomach. Do I feel fat?"
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"Check my stomach. Do I feel fat?"
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, she asked.It was a boobytrap girlfriend question. Should he refuse saying "Ofcourse your not fat?" But what if she was pregnant & wanted him to notice? He reached out his hand
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but before he could answer, she asked another boobytrap girlfriend question as a smokin' hot brunette walked by. "Is she prettier than me?" Panicking, he began to sweat profusely
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inside his track suit as his feeble male mind raced through the options, none of which seemed passable. Then his girlfriend hit him with "Hey, do these jeans make my butt look big?
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" He tried walking away from the question, but her keister's gravitational force pulled him into a slow elliptical orbit. Dozens of eclairs later, the living room furniture slid
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inwards towards his wife. The tacky 70s leather couch looked like a twinkie to her, so she scarfed it down, too. He tried to build a fort of bookshelves, but they toppled when
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his wife knocked a painting of the famous outlook Pipsqueak McGraw. With the invasion of the fort he scrambled for cover under a pile of feather dusters. His wife ate
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the remaining children and let out a tremendous belch. He screamed in fear and arousal, trying to stop his wife from eating the dog as well.
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He didn't try very hard, inasmuch as he wasn't really a dog person. In fact he was a coward who poured A-1 sauce on the poodle when he realized his wife's appetite might not be sat
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iated by such a small pooch.Time to get creative."Meet Bruno!" he said to his wife. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the gigantic slobbering mastiff. "BABY!" she cried. Poor puppy!
7
- Started
- 2011-12-17 08:12:55
- Finished
- 2013-01-05 23:40:08
8 Comments
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DanMars Jan 06 2013 @ 07:16
haha! it flows pretty smoothly this one
inatick Jan 06 2013 @ 20:05
I meant to type outlaw instead of outlook.
BlastedHeath Jan 08 2013 @ 01:50
It's a sorry state of affairs that we still have to type in letters -- but that's probably for the best. ;-)
SlimWhitman Jan 08 2013 @ 05:46
Typos make for some of the best plot twists.
inatick Jan 08 2013 @ 09:22
I find that I am constantly battling the autocorrect. Thankfully nobody here gets too upset if I mess up.
PurpleProf Jan 08 2013 @ 22:23
Reading it again, I am wondering if the smokin' hot brunette was actually his insatiable, dog-loving wife. If so, I am also thinking that she has one amazing metabolism. It all seems like foreplay to me, actually. Love it!!
SlimWhitman Jan 09 2013 @ 12:39
Hmm.. So he's barraged with questions by his girlfriend and then his wife shows up and asks "Is she prettier than me?" That's when he starts to sweat in his track suit caught between two heavenly bodies? But it seems to me that's the girlfriends question. Or maybe after the eclairs they tied the knot? But then I guess their kids were born before the marriage or more darkly from his previous partner? The possibilities are endless.
Zetawilk Jan 11 2013 @ 22:13
All I can say is, so much for the interior decorator's opinion.