As starliner Ariela returned to the homey

As starliner Ariela returned to the homey sight of Titan, Bertie Grunch, Salad Prep 2nd Class, was filled not with a sense of wonder, but bitter hatred toward the glitterati in the

glitzy bow. They loaded glitter into the bowchaser and fired on Titan and LGBT-unfriendly asteroids. Bertie wished to fire lettuce and carrots for his healthy eating initiative, in

stead, Ernie shot one asteroid that had a Wendy's and another with a Target, and he accidentally fire pork chops instead of carrots. The Chickfilla Asteroid avoided trouble. But

-ter! That's right, butter! That's what saved earth from the Chickfilla Asteroid. You want to know how? He harnessed the

power from the quantum vacuum in space that contained an enormous amount of energy from the Higgs particals. The energy in one cubic cm was equivalent to 1000 years of the sun burn

all 157 quintillian of Mr. Higgs particals to smelt him into a small dense carbonaceous chunk which my Grandmam Higgs added to her jambalaya chicken to get it a personal touch.

Only Grandmam & I knew the secret ingrediant, so we weren't surprised at what happened after our guests ate the Higgs-particle jambalya. Their faces became assymetrical and they

got really huge (though that could be the okra). But the brain chemistry stabilized, making this a promising treatment for psychoses, though not a pretty one. A side-effect of

the okra was an enormous desire for curry. And a side effect of going to curry houses is Cobra Lager and smashing poppadums in faces for a 'bubble'. But he was more sane, fatter