Many years ago there lived an Emperor who

SamHardy Feb 28 2015

Many years ago there lived an Emperor who desired a new black-blue dress,but when the tailor made it, he was furious:"WHY did you bring me a WHITE-GOLD dress? I specifically said

5
m80 Feb 28 2015

The tailor cut in:“The dress IS black/blue not white/gold.”The Emperor called for his pipe, drum & fiddlers three.Prior to smoking, drumming & fiddling he asked them the dress colo

7
sundancer Nov 02 2016

rs and they stared horrified at his naked body. "Erm," said one of the Fiddlers Three nervously. The Emperor tapped his foot impatiently. The fiddler knew he could lose his head if

6
bunnycookies Aug 31 2018

he complimented the Emperor's masculine form, so he averted his eyes from his majesty. "I-it's... Perhaps... A little revealing, my Lord?" he stuttered. The Emperor sneered.

5
ValkyrieGrrl Sep 01 2018

"SO you say!" The Emperor looked again in the full length mirror, seeing only his fat, amorphous flesh. "But - what of my beautiful poitrine?" "Oh," answered the serf. "So lovely!

5
Woab Sep 02 2018

I especially love how the spotted scarf matches the many pimples on your manly pectorals." The Emperor gazed into the mirror at his nude form and nodded. "Does this big butt make

6
LordVacuity Sep 02 2018

me look phat?" I knew this was an imperial trap. No matter how I answered I was seconds from a beheading. I had to let the Emperor answer his own question. "No, it is you who makes

6
Awes0mSam Sep 02 2018

things look good.

2
Perronicus Sep 03 2018

If only they smelt good too.

3
Chaz Sep 03 2018

So I tossed them in the dryer with a fabric softener sheet, plugged in a few quarters, and twisted the dial to high. In an hour, they had shrunk, but smelled like morning rain.

7